The Patient Test
by Clair Aragon
Summary: The Patient Test consist of two rules. One: You both are locked in a room for two days. Two: You can't leave until you haven't fought for four hours. Yes, me and Ed are stuck in the room for an entire day because we can't get along... -side-story to TSA 2-


**This takes place when the gang is at Tucker's studying. I figured this was a nice one-shot, so I decided to write it for you all. Actually, this is my first one-shot that actually make sense and goes outside the story plot, so you don't have to read it if you don't want to, but I found it pleasing! :D  
**

**The Patient Test**

* * *

**Clair's PoV  
**

"Hey, you have chocolate on your nose and whip cream all over your cheeks," Ed mentioned when I walked out of the kitchen after making breakfast for everyone, which was chocolate and blueberry pancakes. My favorite! Also, it was the one thing that I could cook without a recipe book. _I wish Al could taste my delicious food..._

I wiped off the chocolate and cream quickly after I licked my hand, then I tumbled into the library. "Don't judge me. I'm a sloppy eater, okay?"

"I wasn't judging you!" Ed argued, shouting.

"I could see it from your eyes," I glared, placing my hands on my hips. Ed glared back at me. It was enough to see vexed sparks flying from our view.

"I had it!" Al stammered, standing. "Enough is enough! For the passed several days all you guys do is fight when you see each other!"

"I'm sorry, Al," we both apologized at once.

"You shouldn't be sorry for me! Say you're sorry for each other!"

"Fine, I'm sorry I thought you were judging me. But I'll never repay you for what you did yesterday!" I turned my, otherwise noble claim, into a shouting smack.

"I didn't do anything yesterday!"

"Yes you did! You kept using alchemy on purpose to fix everything when you knew I couldn't use mine!" Another glaring spark emerged from the both of us.

"Enough!" Al stopped us again, motioning his hands. "Instead of fighting, I know a way to stop this bickering. You have to take a test."

"A test?" we questioned.

"She's the one that needs to take the test, not me. She's dumber than a box of rocks we it comes to alchemy!" Ed pointed his finger at me. My heart shattered when he said that..., but I held my ground, holding back tears. _I guess being the best at chemistry in my class didn't help..._

"Ed! You're going to end up making her cry, and nobody wants to see that. This is why you both must take the Patient Test," Al exclaimed.

"Never heard of it," I said.

"Me either."

"Hey, we actually agreed on something!" I chimed. We both turned back to our glaring state without a second hesitation.

"Guys!" We both turned to Al to hear what he had to say. "The Patient Test consist of two rules. One: You both are locked in a room for two days. Two: You can't leave until you haven't fought for four hours, and sleeping doesn't count," Al explained. "Before you ask, you'll stay in the guest room and I'll serve you breakfast, lunch, and dinner."

"How will you know that we haven't fought for four hours...?" I asked.

"You're a ninja in disguise, aren't you, Al?" Ed laughed.

"Uh...I wish," he muttered. "No there's gonna be a hidden camera in the room, which I've already installed."

"You already installed it?!" Me and Ed screamed in confusion.

"Yeah, three days ago...when you guys were in another war..."

* * *

"This is stupid," Ed glared at the floor as he paced around the guest room. "Al just had to drag us into this. Don't you find it stupid."

Without answering, with my legs-crossed at the end of the twin-sized bed, I said, "Tell me what is bothering you."

"Clair, stop being a consular," Ed huffed with a sigh, then sat beside me at the other corner. "But if you want my problem, it's you. You're the one keeping secrets."

I looked at him with my appealed in a 'what?!' look. "I'm the one keeping secrets? You haven't told me how you got that automail or anything about your home life like I did!"

"That is none of your business."

"Then, my secrets are none of your business either," I chuckled with my noise in the air.

Ed just glared at me in disgust, then lied his head on the bed with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. "Whatever." He managed to say, but I knew just me being here was bugging him.

We sat silently... I lied on the bed beside him with a thump. "Welp, I'm bored."

"If you're bored, then why don't you tell me about your past," Ed turned his face with a snicker.

"Look, I can't. Just drop it, okay?" I refused. Then I thought of an idea. "We should play Would You Rather." I smiled, knowing Truth or Dare was out of the question.

"Huh?"

"You know?" I asked; he still stared at me in a daze. "Okay, I'll go first. Would you rather get hit by Winry's wrench or keep one of Al's cats?"

"What kind of question is that? How do you even know about my mechanic, anyways?!"

"Just answer the question..." I trailed.

"I rather keep one of Al's cats," he frowned.

I smirked, "'Em wrenches hurt don't they?"

"You're telling me," he agreed. I lied my head on his stomach. I could hear grumbling sounds that made me smile. His heart made me wonder about everything in my life. For example, I was on Ed's stomach. Who would've thought? If I told my friends on the other side of Gate about this, they wouldn't believe a single word that came from my lips.

He acted very disturbed by my presents, but didn't move me like I expected. "Why are you laying on me?"

"I like it how your heart isn't fast or slow." I contradicted his question. Somehow I thought it'd speed up just a little, but...no. Of course, this was Ed, the person that can't take a single sign of any romance. I didn't even love him, but for some reason I wanted to know what he'd do.

He shoved me off me, and without the wall catching me, I would've fell off the bed. _Jerk._ He closed his eyes with a sigh. "Don't do that. I don't know what I would do if something happened to you. Knowing me, something will."

I laughed with an interested look, _Did you actually get the hint? Wow..._ "Hang on, is that why you don't want to date anyone. You're afraid that something will happen to them like your brother?" I laughed my head off saying it, especially when Ed stared at me in a daze. "I can't believe it..." Ed didn't say anything, only sighed again, sitting up. "Ed! You can't think so negatively!" I smacked on the back of the head.

* * *

Nightfall came finally. Boredom had struck against me too many times to count. Ed never talked to me again after that. _He just didn't know when to get over something, did he? _He paced, sat, and lied on the floor in rapid repetition throughout the day, stopping only to eat. Basically, he thought about what I said way too in-depth. I didn't mean for him to get worked up about it...

"Hey, I'll sleep on the floor if you want." I exclaimed

"No, I'll take it."

"But I'm the one who offered the bed to you. Take the gift," I forced.

"Fine, I'll take the bed," he muttered.

Later that night, I swore I heard groans. Hissing and whistling were humming outside the room like a ruckus of animals. As I slept on the floor, it made my mood ring turn green with uneasiness. When I turned to Ed, his back faced me with his braid showing. _No, I can't do that,_ I controlled myself, thinking of sleeping in the bed with him to feel protected. _Only if I could figure out where the noises were coming from..._

Finally, I realized this _was_ the Tucker residents. He hid a bunch of the chimera's in the basement, so surely that was what it was.

It wasn't, though. The noises became louder and louder from outside the room. Being my scared self, I hurried under Ed's comforters quietly without waking him. _I'll move before morning comes..._

* * *

In the morning...well it wasn't the most pleasant thing in the world. I literally couldn't move. Ed was hugging me like a pillow with his legs stretched across mine. His body heat was overwhelming, and I knew Ed's automail weighed more than a ton of bricks...but I didn't think that literally. How did he carry this thing around everywhere!? Though somehow, the shorty did feel...nice even without any deodorant or anything to make him smell. He didn't smell horrible, though...strangely enough. To be honest, this was the first time I slept with anyone before, besides my parents or friends... _Just great... Stupid noises anyways._

Al came into the room to serve breakfast, almost spilling the try when he saw us. "Please help me..." I whispered, begging. When Al sat the tray on the nightstand, he moved Ed's automail off me. Ed woke up, but not for that reason; I fell flat on the floor loudly. Al helped me off the dusty ground.

He started screaming at me, "I thought you got the floor last night!"

"I did...but I got scared..."

"Scared of what?!"

"I dunno..." I sniffled. I liked it better when he was minority anger with me...

Al laughed, scratching the back of his head. "I think you both failed the test."

"What?!" we screamed.

"I'm not staying in here another day, Al."

"I wouldn't mind either way, but I should get to studying..."

"No! I didn't mean it like that! You both failed, but together you both passed."

"Huh?" My eyes popped with bags still under them.

"Meaning, you guys are there for each other when you need it, yet any other time you don't care for each other. It's a love/hate kinda thing," Al explained.

"Oh. So we both passed?" Ed asked.

"Yes, as long as you promise to each other you won't argue anymore."

"I'm sorry, Ed," I apologized, laughing, "I promise never to sleep with you again." _If your screaming at me wasn't enough to know that..._

Al head lowered. "Ed..."

"Fine, I'm sorry, too, but I don't know what's your big deal is, anyways. I wish you would just spill what you know," Ed said with his eyes weary. "I can go back to bed now, right?" We both laughed, nodding.

When Al and I left the room, he asked, "Do you think that's the real reason why Ed doesn't like...girls...?"

I giggled, thinking about he asked, shaking my head, "Al, we'll never know."

"Oh! By the way, those noises were because Alex found a snake in the house, and I was trying to catch it. Sorry for that..."

I closed my eyes, thinking that happened while we were taking this stupid test. Maybe Truth actually was watching me. _Creeper. You think this is funny, don't you? _I smiled, brushing it off, "Nah, it's okay."

* * *

**Well, this was nice and it only took me an hour and a half to write. Literally... Of course, there wasn't any details in it at all, lol. I didn't just make this for myself - though that kinda was implied. I wanted to ask everyone something. Do you wanna see more character development/romance stuff like this in the Sapphire Alchemist? I mean, this proves that I can do it, but a lot of you either don't like romance, love romance, or like the story either way. So if you wouldn't mind, vote what you wanna see in a review. Thanks for reading! And, if you don't mind, I'm going to write chapter 6 now. Bye! :D**


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